Resources beyond the wedding
finances + budgeting
budgeting apps
We love this for its simple and clean interface with easy-to-use features.
Get $10 off an annual plan
Every Dollar App
Another trusted app among other catholics and financial-savvy friends.
Learn more about YNAB
You Need a Budget (YNAB) App
Money is one of the top reasons for conflict in marriage which is why it is so important that you feel like a team on your finances. As the two of you become one, you are then sharing all elements of your life together and your money is no different. In taking the other person in marriage, you take on everything about them (including their income and their debt), and now share in each others responsibility to steward that well.
Finances & Budgets
- Setup a joint bank account and deposit all of your income checks into it. You can then transfer it to other accounts as needed if you feel the need to categorize it further and for other practical purposes such as moving money into savings.
- Make a budget each month together to increase the transparency of your finances and communication surrounding it. Then do a weekly check-in to make sure you both know where you’re at for finances that month and make informed decisions.
- Personal Spending It’s natural that each person wants a degree of freedom in spending. This is where creativity, trust, and responsibility come into play. For us, we found a compromise that each of us get a personal flex amount each month. Ours is a simple $75 per person and that allows us to use it as we want without impacting other areas of the budget.
- Learn from financial experts to gain their advice on eliminating debt, saving, investing, and giving generously. We highly recommend looking into Wallet Win. They're a Catholic company who went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and became facilitators of his course, but recognized that it lacked a Catholic perspective. So they created an online course and framework that builds on some of those same principles but dives deeper into what our faith says about saving, investing, and giving generously.
Tips that helped us in our newlywed year:
natural family planning
There can be a lot of emotions (including fear) around the topic of family planning. However, our prayer is that you find the process of learning about the methods of natural family planning to be empowering! There are so many messages the female body is telling us about our health, we just need to learn how to crack the code so we can listen and interpret those messages.
- Managing Your Fertility - a starting point for learning about the various methods and information about how tracking your cycle helps your overall health
- One More Soul Directory - find an NFP-experienced doctor across the country
- Additional Resources from the Archdiocese St. Paul and Minneapolis including links to class registration for various providers of Creighton method, Billings method, Marquette method, Sympto-thermal method, and more.
natural family planning (NFP)
Ps. It is ok to switch methods! Just because you start with one method means that you have to stay with it forever.
We know several couples who found one method helpful before their first kid and other methods more reliable for them once they were postpartum or as different health concerns arose.
Resources
therapy + counseling
Catholic counselors
Individual, couples, and organizations. Based in Saint Paul, MN.
The Martin Center for Integration
Find a values-aligned therapist anywhere across the country.
Catholictherapists.com
Please have NO shame for seeking therapy! One of my favorite mottos comes from the Little Sisters of the Lamb religious order which goes, “Wounded, I never cease to love”! It is raw, honest, and above all hopeful! We have to recognize that we are all wounded. Whether that was circumstances surrounding our family of origin, the culture/environment we grew up in, past relationships, or the conflicts we are currently encountering with the person we love.
Seeking to heal your heart and build healthy relationships will always be some of the best things you can do for yourself and your family!
therapy & Counseling
- Worldwide Marriage Encounter
- Retrouvaille (Ree-tru-VEYE) is an effective program that helps to heal and renew marriages in serious trouble.
- The Third Option is another program that is available in some parts of the country
- Parish priests, deacons and other pastoral ministers are available to talk to couples and to refer them to counselors and programs that can assist them. They are not there to judge, they desire to help!
Retreats & Programs
- Fight the New Drug
- Faithful & True Ministries - including resources for women facing betrayal trauma
- Reclaim Sexual Health
- Strive 21
- Integrity Restored
- Additional apps and resources from The Catholic Gentleman
Pornography Addiction & Sexual Affairs
Specializing in healing from trauma, depression, anxiety, media addictions (porn, video games, internet); in addition to a variety of other topics.
Jake Voelker
- Fair Play helps to divide household tasks fairly based on your needs which can be a source of conflict in relationships, especially as seasons of life change throughout your marriage
- The Gottman Institute
Relationship-building Resources
create a prayerful home
- Place a crucifix in each of the main areas of your home.
- Add a holy water font to your entryway.
- Dedicate a specific area to make a prayer table that includes a candle or two, your bible, breviary, rosary, and any other religious artwork to draw you into prayer.
- Hang artwork around your home. A reason that stained glass windows and art fills the walls of the churches is because beauty draws our hearts and minds to God. Do the same for your home!
Create a prayerful home
As our parish priests sought to build more community among the parishioners, they sent out a recommended structure to pray throughout the day. I love the way that it not only brought me and Ben closer together by sharing the same prayer routine, but it also was a great comfort to know other couples and members of our parish were doing the exact same thing together! It brings order to the day and when spread out it helps you live out prayer without ceasing. While there are lots of devotions you can do (eg. adding in the Angelus) these are what we've committed to that are manageable for us -
- Pray the morning offering to begin your day by offering up all that happens to God and inviting Him to be a part of it
- Say a decade of the rosary during the day (or go for a whole rosary, but at least a decade)
- Spend 10-15 minutes reading scripture
- End the day with an examination of conscience to recall the events of the day, notice how God was present, uncover ways we may have failed, and resolve to always strive to do better the next day.
- Close with prayer and a marian hymn (eg. Sub Tuum Praesidium)
Create a daily prayer routine together
A turning point that deepened our marriage occurred when we anchored our nighttime routine by reading the bible together. We started at the gospels and read a paragraph or two each night leaving time to discuss it together afterwards. There is so much wisdom and history there that will nourish your soul and continue forming you to live and love as Christ.
Read the bible together
Vulnerable Fulton Sheen is noted for saying "There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.” One of the best things we can do in this generation is to commit to truly understanding what the Catholic Church teaches and that comes from being well catechised! There are great resources out there like the Catechism in a Year podcast by Ascension Press led by Fr. Mike Schmitz - who gives further explanation to the
Read the catechism
live the liturgical year
One way to stay connected in your marriage to the Church is to take note of what is happening in the liturgical calendar and incorporate it into your home.
- Decorate for the seasons. This might be as simple as incorporating the green, red, white, purple, rose colors from mass into areas of your home like the tablecloth, flowers, etc. Keep the major liturgical seasons front of mind with items like an advent wreath during December or a home set of Stations of the Cross during lent.
- Meal plan to include dishes that are inspired by the saint of the day (or the region they're from)
- Discern any other prayers that you want to add to meal times besides saying grace. This could be related to the liturgical season, the saint of the day, inviting the holy spirit to be a part of the dinner conversation, etc..
- Pray with the saint of the day by reading a brief bio about their life. We like the prayers that are listed within the "Catholic All Year Prayer Companion" by Kendra Tierney.
live the liturgical year at home
find community
There is a lot of ways that the Church and society encourages you to soak up time for just the two of you as newlyweds - leaving your father and mother to cling to your spouse, becoming one, and taking a honeymoon alone. But you're not meant to do it *all* alone! Once you're back home and settling into newlywed life, commit to finding a community of people who will continue to enrich your marriage, be mentors to you, and then in turn be a witness to others in your circles.
Find community
There is a temptation to isolate yourselves in the midst of adjusting to this new way of life. Aim to remain social with friends at least once a week. Great ideas we've seen through the years are couples who reserved time on their calendar to always invite someone to dinner - like being intentional to invite people over for Taco Tuesday and making it routine will minimize stress over the prep of it. Have your guests bring the drinks or sides to make it feel a team effort.
Foster hospitality within your home
Even though your spouse is likely your best friend, it is important to maintain friendships and support beyond each other! Find or build a group of friends who can fill your cup that overflows into your marriage. Whether they're friends who you do book clubs or bible studies with, friends you go on adventures with, friends you go the gym with, friends you share hobbies with, or friends you just get drinks and catch up with. It helps you invest in your own interests that might be separate from your spouses and gives you new things to talk about when you get home! Ideally you'd have a group of friends that just the wife hangs out with, a group of friends that just the husband hangs out with, and a group of friends you mutually hang out with in these ways so that you have a balance of time to yourself and time together.
Find a small group that fills your cup
Recommended Reading
Your photogaLlery
07.
WEATHER TIPS
VIDEOGRAPHERS
DON'T FORGet
Emergency Kit
Vendor recommendations
Sample timelines
catholic wedding tips
delegating
hair + Makeup trials
dress fitting
transportation
florals
VEIL OPTIONS
06.
Overview
tips + tricks
feeding vendor team
cocktail hour
cake cutting
special exits
05.
Out of sight time
Traditions
timing & logistics
Nuptial blessing
receiving lines
aisle Reveals
04.
03.
02.
girls getting ready
guys getting ready
choosing location
detail pictures
special first look
letters + gift exchange
01.
Table of contents
